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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Mga bisdak nga litrato

Dili ni akong mga litrato ha. These pictures are not mine. They have been attached to an email sent to me. Ang uban dunay mga marks where they come from. Bisaya kaayo ang agi aning mga litratoha ba. bisaya jokes, bisaya, binisaya



This is from Himantayon.com .... perteng basaa sa bisaya uy.



Kani bisaya ni nga puyo sa manila siguro.



kani ambot kung bisdak ni siya. Agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!



Kani bisaya jud siguro ni ba.


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bisaya jokes, bisaya, binisaya

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Dear tech support - di ni bisaya ha

The following is not mine. This has been taken from http://palamuot.blogspot.com/2010/01/wife-10-tech-support.html Please visit this blog too. ok na nga blog makalingaw pud. Nahutdan nako ug mga bisaya jokes mao ni nga ga post nako "ug uban pa". This is para sa mga two nga computer geeks.

bisaya, bisaya jokes, binisaya jokes, bisdak, geeks, geek
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot
of space and valuable resources. No mention of this
phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0
installs itself into all other programs and launches during system
initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this
program.

Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, Joe


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Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to
a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be
able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
bisaya, bisaya jokes, binisaya jokes, bisdak, geeks, geek
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files
from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0
because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support."

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must
assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter
the command
C:\ APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately
you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system
will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take
the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance.

Consider buying addition software to improve the performance of Wife
1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any
circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a
supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.
Tech Support.


bisaya, bisaya jokes, binisaya jokes, bisdak, geeks, geek

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Boys over flowers bisaya version

Ambot ani kay pati mga pinoy diri sa laing nasud nabuang aning mga korean nobelas..dia ang usa ka part sa bisaya version sa boys over flowers. Ang uban tua sa youtube.

bisaya jokes, bisaya, binisaya, bisdak




bisaya jokes, bisaya, binisaya, bisdak


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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Mga bisayang dako sa 6o's and 70's

Dili ni akoa. Article ni nga circulating in the net and email nga na recieve nako. I am posting this here kay murag makalipay labi na sa mga tawong natawo sa 60's and 70's pares nako and maybe early 80's. Basa ug realize nga ang kinabuhi dili base sa mga butang nga temporal kundi sa mga butang that last a lifetime. please read... you might gain some good insight. bisaya joke, bisdak, binisaya

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us. While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, ate Linunod, balikutsa, bukhayo and didn't worry about diabetes.

Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, ang uban kay duyan nga habol gihigtan ug pisi nga inigtabyog ug kusog ma pakong intawon ta sa bongbong.

We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang sa General Milling nga naa'y faded picture nga nag-salute), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, wala pa gyu'y brake ang bisikleta.

As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (Bisaya Bus nga pultahan puros ang kilid, Corominas Bus nga senimana ang brake), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (karon kay Minibus na nga nindot kaayo ug sounds or Ceres Bus nga bugnaw ug aircon)

Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (karon, ang mga bata wala na kaila ug Kabaw)

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT bottled mineral water sa Nature Spring or Viva, or Absolute Mineral water (usahay gani, straight from the faucet or poso or Tabay!)

We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.

We ate rice with star margarine, bahaw nga gibutangan ug asin ug mantika sa baboy, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank sofdrinks with real sugar in it (dili diet coke or Pepsi Max), but we weren't sick or overweight kay......bisaya joke, bisdak, binisaya

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Syatong, Bato-Lata, Bagol, Dakop-Dakop, Tago-Tago, Ngita'g Kaka.

No one was able to reach us all day (wala pa'y uso ang cellphone). And yes, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (katong bearing ang ligid) or Karitong Kawayan nga karaang tsinilas ang giporma nga ligid and then ride down the street , wala ma'y gidungog nga naligsan atoh! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ......... ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..sakit bai ? pero kung kontra gani nimo ang imong kadula,,,,singgitan lang dayon ug..Mayra,Gabaan!

We played marbles (jolen) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate Pan Bahug-bahug & Bagumbayan (recycled bread man diay to kay wala mahalin!) We were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.

We had to live with homemade guns (giporma nga kahoy, gihigtan ug garter ug lastiko) , saplong , tirador ug uban pa nga pwedeng magkasakitay. Pero lingaw gihapon kaayo ang tanan.

We made up games with sticks ( syatong ), and cans ( Bato-Lata )and although we were told they were dangerous, wala man gyud to'y actual nga nabuta bah, bukol lang nuon sa agtang naa.

We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or batoon ug gagmay nga bato ang bungbong, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala pa nang mga childhood depression ug damaged self esteem ek-ek ra na. Ang maglagot, pildi.

Ang mga Ginikanan naa ra sa daplin para motan-aw ra sa duwa sa mga bata, dili para manghilabot ug makig-away sa ubang parents.

That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.

You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were lucky indeed.

And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.

It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!
bisaya joke, bisdak, binisaya

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