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Monday, August 10, 2009

Bisaya jokes 1 - August

Gitudluan sa akong sister kung unsaon siya pagtawag sa akong 2-year-old na pag-umangkon.
bisdak, bisaya jokes, binisaya, bisaya,
Sister: Mommy Nene lagi. Dili kay Nene lang. Sige, sunod nako ha. Mo–mmy. Ikaw.
Bata: Mo–mmy.
Sister: Ne–ne.
Bata: Ne–ne.
Sister: Mo–mmy Ne–ne.
Bata: ‘My Ne–ne.
Sister: Very good. Sige, tawaga daw ko beh.

Bata: Psssst!
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Colegiala inside passenger jeepney. Covering her mouth with a very dainty hanky. She appears really sossy and sophisticated. Guy beside her trying to start a conversation.

Guy: Taga-Sanjo (San Jose) ka miga?
Colegiala: (irked, almost shouting): Of course ba?

(Nisiga ang mata sa passengers. Quiet chuckles ensued.)
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In a youth gathering:

Guy 1: (catching his breath) Hahahaha! du^! Ay na sig katawa du^! Di na ko kaginhawa du! Hahaha!
Guy 2: Gi lang du^! Tagaan lang tikag mouth to mouth breath!
Guy 1: HAHAHA! Bogo! Unsay mouth to mouth breath? Mouth to mouth RECITATION na oi!
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bisdak, bisaya jokes, binisaya, bisaya,
Me: Bai, naa lagi leak ang elbow sa tubo nga gitaod.
Plumber from MCWD: Factory effect na, sir.
Me: Factory defect siguro na, bai.
Plumber: Dili, sir, factory effect gyud na cya.
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Ang akong 3 years old na pag-umangkon, iya jud gipugos ang akong Auntie mo tan-aw ug TV.

Bata: Ma, tan-aw na lagi ta TV ba kay Lobo na.
Auntie: Unsa ba na ang Lobo ba?
Bata: Kana gud mahimo ug dog ang babaye.
Auntie: Kinsa man na ang artista diha?
Bata: Si Angel Locsin.
Auntie: Unya, kinsa iya pares?
Bata: Si Lolo Pascual.
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Nadawat nga text message gikan sa trabahante sa akong amiga nga gisugo papalit ug ticket para Bohol:

“Helo mam okey na mam alas syes sa bontag man adto sa pear ono mam back and port nato mam unya inig abot nato sa tagbilaran adto lang pa bock didto mam ang teket to a ni elvi mam alas sayes mam.“
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Girl 1: Sa imong tan-aw, naa pa siya’y na-feel sa ako?
Girl 2: He do! He do!

hahahahahha mao na jud ni!
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bisdak, bisaya jokes, binisaya, bisaya,

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