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Thursday, January 15, 2009

bisaya jokes for january 2009

The making of Pilipinas

Lord: Ang atong game plan, Michael, mao nga ang tanang nasod adunay balanse.
Michael, ang anghel: Okey.
Lord: Okey, ang sunod nga nasod pagatawgong Pilipinas. Manindot nga mga isla, abunda sa rekursos, mga utokan ug ambongang mga tawo…
Michael: Ah, Lord… ang balanse?
Lord: Aw, tan-awa lang ang ilang mga piniling opisyales.
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Asa Gikan? bisaya jokes, binisaya

Pare 1: Diin ka gikan Pre?
Pare 2: Sa lubong sa akong ugangan Pre.
Pare 1: Unya nganong daghan man kaayo kang kinawrasan ug bun-og?
Pare 2: Misukol man.
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Guess!

Tindero: O mga suki, palit na kamo sa akong baligya nga relo. Mahalon nga klase. Magpili lang kamo, Guess, Swiss Army, Seiko… Naa pa daghan nga kapilian. Barato ra, dali na kamo.

(Pagkasunod semana mibalik ang usa sa mga nakapalit.)

Mipalit: Unsa god ning imong relo? Wa may pulos. Di man mohatag sa ensakto nga oras. Usahay paspas iyang tuyok. Usahay hinay pod kaayo.
Tindero: Suki, ingon ana gyod na siya. Imong tag-anon ang oras. Naa, o, kita ka tatak, Guess!
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Blackie pahawa!

Usa ka gabii niana, namisita si Poldo ni Bada. Medyo naglain ang tiyan ni Poldo tungod sa iyang gipanihapon nga kamote. Unya samtang nagdaguok ang tiyan ni Poldo…

Poldo: Badz, kanus-a man tawon nimo dawaton ang akong gugma? (Ug sa hilom mipabuhagay siya sa iyang hilom nga utot).
Bada: (Naguba ang nawong tungod sa kabaho ug misinghag sa iyang iro) Blackie pahawa!
Poldo: (Mapasalamaton kay nasalbar sa iro…mipadayon) Badz, abi nimo di na ko makatulog og tarong. Ikaw lang pirme ang naa sa akong hunahuna. (Ug wa na pod niya mapugngi, sa hilom mipagawas siya og hinay-hinay sa iyang utot.)
Bada: (Misiga ang mata nga nagtan-aw sa iro ug misinghag na usab) Kabaho! Blackie pahawa ra god!
Poldo: (Pwerte gyod tawong pasalamat sa hilom.) Badz, gihigugma ko lagi ikaw (midaguok na sab iyang tiyan busa mainampingon siyang mipabulhot na usab sa utot nga hilom).
Bada: (Wa na gyod makaagwanta, mibarog ug gipatiran ang iro nga si Blackie nga naghigda sa ilawom sa bangko.) Blackie pahawa lagi diha! Basin makalibangan unya ka!
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Essay assignment bisdak, bisaya jokes

Si Miss Tapya mihatag og assignment sa iyang klase sa Englishsa miaging Biyernes. Pagka-Lunes…

Miss Tapya: Class, nag-andam ba mo sa inyong assignment? You were supposed to write a 200-word essay about any subject. Now I want you to read your essay in front of the class. Let’s start with you… (si Braulio maoy unang gitawag)

Braulio: My Miming Bow! I have a pet. It is a cat. My cat’s name is Miming. And Miming’s lost. Ming!…Ming!…Ming!… (178 times).
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Sugod sa A bisaya jokes

Gorio: Tagnaa unsay labing nindot nakong batasan, nagsugod sa A.
Juan: Aprutsabol?
Gorio: Wrong!
Juan: Abilabol?
Gorio: Wrong gihapon!
Juan: Unsa man diay?
Gorio: Anist!

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Happy New Year!!!!!

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